When you have integrity, you’re honest with yourself and others. But integrity involves more than telling the truth. You talk the talk and walk the walk. You match what you do to what you believe. You have confidence in yourself because you know yourself. Other people have confidence in you because they can depend on you to be consistent and constant. Your friends look to you as a leader because they trust you; parents, teachers, and employers give you more freedom and responsibility.

Your integrity encompasses every part of your life, including your relationships with people (family, friends, neighbors, classmates, teachers), institutions (schools, faith communities, places of employment, organizations), society (community groups, clubs), your country (town, city, state), and yourself. You don’t brag, exaggerate, namedrop, try to impress other people, or put them down with insults or cutting sarcasm. And you do the right thing, even if it isn’t the easiest or most popular thing.

You don’t deceive people into thinking you have more money than you do. You don’t tell some of your friends that you hate cigarettes, then light up with others so they’ll think you’re cool. You don’t pretend to like someone and later stab him in the back. If you do, the time will come when you’re not fooling anyone but yourself. When chameleons in nature change colors, they fade into the background, but people who act like chameleons stick out like sore thumbs.

When you have integrity, you’re true to your values. Look for role models who can guide you in developing good values. Seek out honorable, trustworthy, genuine people in the present; study good examples from the past. Your values should not bring harm to other people, things, your country, or the world. They should support, respect, strengthen, and build.

What’s great about having integrity is that you can approach each new situation calmly because you don’t have to struggle inside to decide how to act. Your integrity protects you from making poor choices. Integrity is the cornerstone of building good character.

Character Dilemmas

Suppose that …

1. Your friend Evan is popular, well liked, and a great soccer player besides. Your school’s soccer team is competing for first place in the district, and Evan is key to winning. During math class this morning, you saw him cheat on an important test. No one else noticed. If the teacher found out, Evan would be kicked off the soccer team. Is it your responsibility to report what you saw? Is it anyone’s responsibility? What are the consequences of reporting? What might be the consequences of not reporting?

2. You’re paying for school supplies at your local discount store. The store is part of a huge chain with hundreds of stores across the country. When the cashier rings up your purchases, she under-charges you $10 by mistake. You could call it to her attention … or you could donate the $10 to a local homeless shelter you’ve been helping. You wouldn’t be keeping the money for yourself, and the shelter needs it more than the big corporation that owns the store … right? Do you put the $10 in your wallet and leave? Why or why not?

3. Someone you know is always true to her beliefs. She believes in cheating, lying, backstabbing, and putting herself first, and that’s what people can count on her to do. Does this person have integrity? Or does having integrity mean being true to the right values? Who decides which values are right and which are wrong?

You’re babysitting for a neighbor who’s told you not to have your friends over when you sit. Around 10:00, two of your friends show up uninvited. The kids are in bed asleep, so you let them in. When one friend spills his root beer on the carpet, you make them both leave. You scrub the carpet and manage to remove the stain. Do you need to tell your neighbor that you let your friends inside the house? After all, you sent them home. The stain is gone. Your neighbor will never know they were there. If she did, she might never trust you to sit again. What should you do?